Finding love is easy?
Sometimes I think everyone believes finding love is easy. It’s what we see in movies and tv series, and what people tell us (or themselves) They make it seem like life is all about love and that finding that person to love is simple. When in reality it’s not. It’s not easy to find love. Not even a little bit. It takes effort. Plus, I think we forget that there are so many people in this world and the odds that you find someone you like and they like you back aren't that great, in fact. But, somehow we’re made to believe it’s simple.
When you’re single and you’re talking about that with your friends (or with other people) they usually want to make you feel better about it. Even when you don’t need them to. They say things like: you’ll find someone, it’ll happen for you. Or they tell you about how they met their partner and that that is how things could go for you. Or they tell you not to think about it so much because then it will come into your life, unexpectedly. Yes, like you can simply tell yourself to not think about the fact that you’re single when you prefer not to be at 37.
Is the fact that we make falling in love, finding someone to spend your life with, seem easy and straight forward, why we feel like we need to make single people feel like it’s their fault they’re single? Are you really putting yourself out there? Are you really ready to meet someone? Do you go to the gym or bars to meet people? Are you sure you’re open to it? To me these questions point the finger to the person who is single. They are doing something wrong, otherwise they wouldn’t be single. You should change something and then you’ll meet someone.
And then there is another perspective. In the movie Find Me Falling there is a scene where the mother of the one of the main characters tells her it’s easy to be alone. What she means by that is that you’re not opening your heart to someone, trying to connect with someone, when you’re alone. You don’t take any risk by being alone. But does that mean it’s easy to be single? I agree that truly connecting with another person requires emotional risk and can be scary. But that doesn’t make being alone easy.
Even though you can be very okay with being single, ultimately we all would like to have someone special in our lives. I like being single, but in the end I prefer not to be.
