Netflix’s Perfect Match: Everything that is wrong with the modern dating world
Recently I watched the latest season of Perfect Match on Netflix. If you haven’t watched it, here’s a summary: former reality stars constantly are offered to go on dates with other people, they say they’re looking for love, but they’re not willing to put in the effort, and connection is something that is there after a few minutes and is based on how hot the other person is. Besides the extremely unsatisfactory ending of the show I realized it represents everything that is wrong with today’s dating world.
You would think in today’s world dating should be easier than ever. We have endless options at our fingertips and the technology designed to connect us with people that are also searching for someone. You’d think that finding love would be a breeze. Yet, I find it to be very frustrating and most of the time I don't want to do it anymore.
Endless options
I believe one of the most significant issues with today’s dating is the sense that there’s always something—or someone—better out there. Dating apps provide us with countless options, which gives us the impression that if we just keep swiping we’ll find ‘the one’. This leads us to mainly focus on something that is around the corner, in the future. And we treat potential partners as if they’re disposable, never fully investing in one relationship or person because we’re afraid of missing out on something better.
This constant search for perfection creates a situation where we’re left unsatisfied with what we have, because we’re always chasing the idea of ‘the one’ that might not even exist.
No more effort
Because dating apps are such a convenient way to meet people, I believe it has had a negative impact on the effort that is required to actually connect with someone. Getting to know someone still takes time, energy, and genuine interest. Today, it seems like all we’re willing to do is send a generic message or just swipe right. And it’s all about instant gratification. When I believe we should be putting in the necessary work to build a meaningful relationship.
Fear of going deep
On Perfect Match the stars declare they have a connection after a few minutes of talking. And the conversation has been about nothing but sex or about how they look. Conversations often stay at surface level, with people avoiding deeper, more meaningful topics out of fear of vulnerability. This way you don’t ever really get to know someone. It seems easier to talk about sex, than it is to discuss hopes, fears, and dreams. And even though the reality stars say they’re looking for love, they only have surface level conversations. When it comes down to it, many of us are afraid to let our guard down. We’re scared of being hurt or rejected, so we keep things light and easy, never allowing ourselves to form the deep bonds that we crave.
True Connection
At the end of the day, most of us are looking for the same thing: a true connection with someone who understands and accepts us for who we are. We all want to be seen, heard and valued in a way that goes beyond the physical attraction and casual chats. But the current dating scene isn’t set up to facilitate these deep connections.
To find the love we’re looking for, we need to change our approach. We need to stop treating potential partners as disposable and start putting in the effort to build real relationships. By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and open with the people we’re dating, we can find the meaningful connections we’re looking for.
This world is encouraging us to keep searching for the next best thing, so our challenge is to stop doing that and instead invest in what we have and nurture the connections that truly matter.
